![]() ![]() Aza resists taking her medication regularly, as she doesn’t like the feeling that something else is determining who she is and how she behaves. At these times, she doesn't feel as though she's in control of her own thoughts. Aza's fear of bacteria sends her into what she terms "thought spirals," in which her fearful thoughts take over her mind and send her into a panic. ![]() She has to compulsively re-open her finger wound, clean it, and re-bandage it several times per day to keep it clean and free from bacteria. However, she also fears bacteria, particularly C. She spends much of her time wondering if she's real or not and as a child, developed a compulsion to test if she's real: she presses her thumbnail into the pad of her middle finger, opening up a cut that she believes proves her reality. ![]() She has struggled for most of her life with anxiety and OCD. Aza is the sixteen-year-old protagonist of the novel. ![]()
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